SELF PORTRAIT

I had just crashed my 42nd flying saucer and knew I was out of a job. I really didn’t care all that much so I left the crash site and began walking south. After stumbling for a few hours I came across an oasis in the middle of nowhere. This oasis consisted of a small pool of water, one fruit tree, a dildo, a shotgun, some dead flowers and a precarious wooden chair. I drank from the pool which tasted like piss and gasoline. I climbed up the tree and knocked down some fruit of which I’ve never seen before, after trying a few I almost vomited, so I ate the dildo, checked the shotgun (no shell’s), and plunked my ass down on the chair.

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