LIZARDS

I found them in the closet under some studies I did when I forgot to take my pill’s. They jumped out at me, one took a chunk out of my fucking foot. Scarred ? jesus! Either I’m losing it big time or I’ve got one hell of a fucking lizard problem, man eaters ? Their colors are tripping me out I can’t focus and my foot has poured blood into my sandals making a pool and blood is slippery so I’m fucked. Mostly reptilian, amphibious vermin go to the dark corners and small inaccessible nooks but these bastards were out in the open knocking shit over, climbing the walls, they even managed to open the fridge and with a wave of movement they collectively swarmed around and then inside. I took my chance after slowly realizing what that was and I slammed the fridge shut. They new what I was up to I could feel them banging against the door. My duct-tape was close by, it always is, I took it up and began to haphazardly wrap the heavy piece of shit fridge. I won’t bore you with the acrobatics that took place between me and the fridge, let’s say I secured it as best I could, moved it to the balcony and dropped it 7 stories. As I caught my breath and began to think about a fridge with dangerous lizards inside laying beneath my balcony and having conversation’s with people about that. First, I needed to make sure that the fridge was secure, who knows what would happen if they got out and began to breed, fuck that fridge is built like a tank, it was completely undamaged, structurally¬† anyways. When I got downstairs, my landlord, the super and a whole gallery of people who I didn’t want there were there to greet me. After realizing my hysterical rantings were hysterical rantings. I could see I was getting nowhere so in my last exhausted attempt to keep myself out of jail or hospital I ripped off the duck tape and opened her up showing all that I wasn’t losing shit. I stood, as we all did looking into the once infested prison of evil that has now become the undisturbed (aside from the damage caused by the fall) without any lizards. I looked down and my leg was no longer wounded. So, my doctor called my land-lord, I got a new fridge and I’m no longer permitted to experiment with my medication.

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